Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
