Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
