Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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