well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
