i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
