You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
