Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My liver just broke up with me...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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