how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.