I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I supernannyed him into submission
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.