I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
