omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
she looked like the before picture.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...