I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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