I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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