There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
