I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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