Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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