He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize