Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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