question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
