i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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