i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
