if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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