Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize