Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
