So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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