worst night to have a conscience
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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