you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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