Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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