You really coming over, don't trick.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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