we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
