he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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