just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize