So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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