My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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