I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
