could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you win again, gameday.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
wow bdsm is so cute
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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