he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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