U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Semen is not good for contacts.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.