My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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