the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize