It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
