Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Drunk is not a location!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
