dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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