I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
