He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
