good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
