i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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