I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
