...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
