I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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