People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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