somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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