I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
