bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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