Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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