so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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