You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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